D got a *great* scholarship at Marquette. This was due to his ACT score and his classes and grades. He's been taking very challenging classes and (for the most part) doing reasonably well. Performance has been inconsistent, but he usually pulls it out in the end.
On Tuesday, Marquette had a special reception for scholarship winners. We wanted D to go. He wanted to go sailing instead. We said he had to go, we were going with too and he had to be polite, etc.
The trip up was pretty bad. D was surly and rude, although he did arrive on time, with the car, nicely dressed. C left work early and came with.
Once we got there (slightly late, but not a problem) there were drinks and appetizers before dinner. We saw the admissions person from the Wilmette visit and chatted about sailing for a minute. We didn't know anyone else and didn't start any conversations. The three of us just stood together, silently for the most part. The only time D started talking was to complain about how stupid it was to be there. His voice was harsh but not loud. His face has hard and closed. C told him to stop it and behave. D was silent again.
Finally, we went in to the dinner. There was an admissions person at the table, and another family joined us. They were from Peoria and she was majoring in mechanical engineering. Conversations about high schools, travel, siblings and so forth were pretty easy. D joined in and was smiling and friendly.
The president of Marquette gave a welcoming speech. The first thing he did was to ask all the students to stand. And then he talked about how proud he was to welcome them. And how proud their parents were to be here, honoring their work and talent. That was a very poignant moment me. I've been so upset with D and his actions, I've lost sight of what he's accomplished. I want to be proud, but I feel hypocritical. How much of my feelings are tied with the loss of my vision of D? I need to accept D as the complex person he is, and be proud of that.
The main speaker after dinner was Steve Rushin (http://www.steverushin.com/) an alum who is a sports writer. He was very funny with great stories and presence. He has a new book out (Pint Man, a novel about love of beer and love of a woman) and we all received a copy. I'm looking forward to reading it.
During the evening, we saw D as we hope he becomes. It was very nice to see him that way at least for a few hours.
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