Status

Senior year in high school was so incredibly difficult. We got through it without evicting him from the home, and without him failing or getting expelled or quitting. There was so much anger and mistrust and disengagement.

The first year in college was hard. Having him out of the house was good for everyone.
His grades were not great (but not horrible).
His drinking and drug use (assumed but not confirmed) was under enough control so that he didn't totally blow it. He registered for hard classes the next year, got a job for the summer, etc.

The summer at home was impossible. Combining his feelings of being an adult, our views of rules and norms, and lack of communication was a powder keg. Which exploded. Literally for his friend S, who was arrested and jailed and is still not sure what will happen next.
Luckily for D, with no life-changing consequences, although lots of $$$, including lawyers.

Was that really the turning point? Is it a turning point?
This year seems to be going so much better.
Is it just that we don't hear of the problems / issues, and are happy in our ignorance?
He won't be home for the summer. I'm OK with that.